“I allow others the pleasure of helping me”

Jen Wozny
3 min readSep 28, 2020
(Stock photo credit: Annie Spratt via Unsplash.)

A Simple but Profound Statement

Once upon a time, I was pretty independent. I liked to do things myself, without help.

One of those things was carrying my grocery bags, even though I was dating someone who offered to carry some of them for me.

I instead rejected his offers of help. “I can carry my own bags, thank you very much.” And he knew that I could; he knew that I was perfectly capable of it. But what he wanted to do was simply to help.

And so he told me that; gave me a tiny talking to. He said, “Jen, I like helping you. It makes me happy to help you. But when you do everything all by yourself, you are denying me this ability to be happy.”

It was such a simple statement but it was profound, as well as true.

Helping Others Increases Happiness

We get joy out of helping others. That is one of the biggest values of doing acts of kindness, volunteering in our communities, and being of service to others.

It makes us happy to do this. (Scientific studies have even proven this!)

Being of service to others is dependent upon someone at the receiving end allowing the help.

But can you imagine what would happen if all of these efforts were blocked? If the people on the receiving end said, “No thanks. I can take care of myself.” Who would we help? No one.

Being of service to others is dependent upon someone at the receiving end allowing the help. And guess who is sometimes at that receiving end…? You. And me.

So do you allow others the pleasure of doing kind things for you? If yes, then good for you! If no, then for what reasons? And how can you gently open yourself up to allowing some assistance? From which of the people in your life can you comfortably and safely receive help?

Life Gets Easier with Help

I can say for sure that it is nice to no longer be trying to do everything alone.

Recently, we moved to a new home, and a friend offered to help carry some of our boxes. The old me would have said, “Oh, no, we’re fine — but thank you!” But the new me actually considered the offer — and then accepted it. I figured that it was indeed a genuine offer, and that made it easier to say yes.

And you know what? Thank goodness I did. That friend helped carry so much weight on the day we moved, and without her, I would have been in trouble.

You know what else? It was just plain nice to spend time with a friend.

The Bottom Line

Our lives are richer with people in it.

Let’s keep the flow of kindness circulating among us, by allowing others the pleasure of contributing to our lives.



Jen Wozny

BA, MSc. Holistic Energy Healer and Coach for your soul, emotions, mind, and body. Former Intel. Founder of www.PutTheLightHere.