Kids and Imaginary Friends: Why you need to see if it’s really a spirit, and what to do if it’s a bad one

Jen Wozny
11 min readJul 19, 2021


(Photo credit: Robert Collins via Unsplash)

We are typically born with our psychic gifts wide open. As children, we have not yet been told things like “spirits aren’t real” or that “when you die, that’s it — it’s not possible to speak to a dead relative because they’re gone.” And so we engage with the spirit world, because it truly lives all around us. It’s only as we grow up that we are told or trained to shut down this beautiful connection. So as adults, we now are convinced that spirits aren’t real, and when we see a child who says otherwise, we don’t believe them.

And this is a serious problem, even a deadly one.

Because the spirit world is very much real, and your child, or a child under your care, might be talking to one. And not all spirits, as with people, are good. Indeed, some of them are very bad, and can influence the child to do things not in their best interest.

A True Story

Let me lead with a story:

A young child — a boy — had just such a spirit friend. This spirit showed itself as a little boy, and so the two boys would talk and play. The human child didn’t live in a household that openly discussed spirits, and so the family was not fully aware of this spirit’s presence.

One day, the spirit told the boy to kill himself.

Guess what the boy did? He grabbed a knife from the kitchen.

Fortunately, an adult came along, saw what was happening, and intervened.

When they discovered that the spirit had influenced the child to do self-harm, they knew they had a problem and sought help. That’s when I was brought in.

With the boy’s permission, I connected with his energy, removed the malevolent spirit, and facilitated healing on the boy’s soul to close the vulnerabilities that allowed this spirit to attack him in the first place.

The boy’s parent reported that, within an hour of completing the work, he was his happy, child self again.

Other True Stories

This type of scenario happens all the time; in various forms of course, but all the time. Why? Because the spirit world is real. And because, just as with humans, spirits come in all types — from good and helpful to actively harmful.

So, here is how to tell if your child, or the child in your care, is really interacting with a spirit, how to tell if the spirit is good, and what to do about it all.

Is It Really a Spirit?

How can you tell if whatever your child is talking with is really a spirit? In one word: investigate.

Investigate. Ask a lot of questions. You are trying to determine if there is something worrisome happening, so ask your child every question you can think of about their new friend, and take all of it seriously. Listen with a mind that is open and curious. This is very real to the child, so treat it that way.

Questions to Ask

Here are some things to ask:

Tell me about your friend. Is it a he, she, or neither? What do they look like? When do they visit you (day, night, constantly, only when you feel down and need help, etc.)? What do you do together? What do they say to you? Do they ever tell you to do things; if so, what? How often do they make you feel bad? Where is your friend right now? Can you tell them I say hello? Can you tell the I want to talk to them; what is their response to that? (A bad spirit often refuses to speak to someone who will recognize that they shouldn’t be around the child; but note that narcissistic spirits may be willing to talk to you, so this is not foolproof.) What would they like to say to *me*?

Does the friend know things that your child couldn’t possibly know? For example, it tells your child, “Be nice to mommy because she just got some bad news.” The spirit world is able to pick up information from other people, in this case from you, and relay that to the child.

Based on these answers, does the friend feel like it’s a spirit or just imagination?

Probably you will be able to tell the difference, having watched your child’s playtime activities before, although it can be subtle.

For example, if the child is having a tea party with their teddy bears and the teddy bear “says” something. We can usually recognize that this is imaginary. The statement is coming from the bear, in the context of this imaginary tea time — complete with imaginary tea — and when the bear is put away it no longer talks.

Your Child’s Level of Belief

But if the child is adamant that the friend is real — the child is absolutely certain, and even gets upset when you try to dismiss this friend — then chances are the friend is indeed real.

Another Diagnostic: Is the Child Already Psychic?

You can tell if it’s real also by determining whether your child has had any other encounters with the spirit world. For example, does the child talk to nature? Do they have conversations with the flowers in your garden, the trees in the forest, the grass? These will usually be two-way conversations — meaning that your child is hearing a response from the flowers (which is totally possible). Are they talking to fairies (which are real), the water (which has a spirit), or the sun (which also has a spirit)? If so, then your child has connected to the unseen worlds, and therefore has the potential to communicate with other types of spirits — so their new friend is likely real.

Other types of gifts include: knowing things that they otherwise could not have known; knowing things before they happen; being able to sense subtle changes in people’s energies and moods, such as by knowing that you are sad or that something bad happened, when you think you’re hiding those feelings; hearing from loved ones who are dead (but very much alive in the spirit world); seeing angels; seeing spirits around you, especially ones who your child says are helping you; and talking about other lives that they have had before this one (recalling past lives — again, real).

If your child demonstrates any of these abilities, then they have a spiritual life.

Okay, It’s Just Their Imagination

If you have concluded that your child’s friend is purely imaginary, then know that one day, it might not be. Stay aware of the fact that the spirit world is real, and evaluate every new friend or scary monster (see below) who comes into your child’s life.

Well, It’s a Spirit. But is It a Good One?

Once you have determined that your child genuinely has a spirit friend, you need to determine whether it is friendly or not. And just like people, spirits come in all shapes and sizes. Some are totally benevolent, some are totally malevolent and manipulative, some are just lonely and taking advantage of the fact that your child can see them, and some are something in between. The bottom line is that a spirit can come to your child for literally any reason, and you don’t need to accept their presence if something feels off.

So, investigate once again: Does this spirit feel safe and friendly — even protective? Or does it feel like someone who is not a good influence for your child — or just someone you don’t want hanging around your family?

Diagnosing Good or Bad

Judge this spirit in the same way that you would judge a regular friend. Are they kind? Are they a positive influence? Or are do they have an unpleasant personality, and maybe even encouraging the child to do bad things?

Good spirits have warmth. There is warmth to them, their presence, and their words. This is hard for bad spirits to replicate; narcissistic spirits come close through their magnetic charm, but it still isn’t true warmth. Good spirits are also usually friendly, open, and willing to answer any questions that you have in order to evaluate them. Their advice to the child is uplifting, expansive, and caring.

Bad spirits often have one of two personalities: mean and nasty, so you can diagnose then through their words (like swear words and belittling) and actions; or charming — because they’re narcissistic — in which case they stroke your ego and say all the right things. They don’t want you to get rid of them, so they will take action to make sure you don’t interfere in their relationship with your child. They may never even show up, for example, when you’re around; they hide. They may “divide and conquer” as well: encouraging your child to step away from their connection to you, and coming over to the side of the spirit. A good spirit has no interest in coming between you and your child.

It’s Bad. What Do I Do?

If the spirit is real and negative, then get help. This can be easily dealt with by someone who knows what they’re doing.

Ultimately, you want two things: You want the spirit removed completely, and you want your child’s vulnerability to be healed. You do not simply want to put up shields that keep the spirits at bay; this means they’re still out there, looking for a way in or waiting until you or your child are too weak to maintain these shields. Smudging, crystals, making declarations, and other superficial tactics that people commonly turn to, are usually insufficient. Those are annoyances to the bad spirit, but not capable of chasing them away permanently. You need to remove the spirit altogether. And remember the second step: Find out why it was able to come to your child in the first place.

When It’s a Bad Spirit, Once is Not Always Enough

Know that bad spirits can come to us at any time. So if you deal with one, know that it’s always possible that you will have to deal with another down the road. But this isn’t just a spiritual problem — this same dynamic happens to us throughout our lives: We meet and have to deal with unpleasant people all the time. So gently be on the lookout for more spirits that are not friendly, and always evaluate new spirits that come into your and your child’s lives.

You Have Work to Do

If your child indeed has a spirit friend, then you need to let that sink in: Your child has their psychic abilities open. That’s a good thing, not a bad thing. We all have psychic abilities. Us adults simply got them shut down as children because our own parents and caregivers told or trained us to shut down. Now, we’re even struggling to re-open them again, and suffering because of that lost connection.

So educate yourself about psychic abilities and the spirit world. Learn about both the good and the bad sides of that world, and how to react to either aspect. In this way, you’ll be able to help your child maintain their connection, and do so in a healthy way.

Also, know that being psychic doesn’t necessarily mean that your child will do anything “weird” or worrisome. Chances are, they won’t walk through walls or move objects with their mind. They will just have a richer life, seeing and interacting with worlds that our adult selves have long ago lost access to. There are actually many advantages to having a psychic child, so if they tell you to take a different route while driving, for example, they may have just steered you away from a traffic jam. It is also helpful if you develop your own psychic abilities, in order to further help and coach your child, as well as share in these magical, wonderful experiences.

Nightmares and Scary Monsters

I would be remiss in my duty as a healer if I didn’t discuss this extremely important phenomenon: nightmares and scary monsters.

It is common for children to tell us that there’s a scary monster in their room, or that they had a nightmare that is truly frightening. In a lot of cases, these are not just “figments of their imagination” or “bad dreams”; these are psychic attacks.

What is a Psychic Attack?

A psychic attack, very simply, means that some type of negative energy was directed at a person for the purpose of causing some level of harm.

  • “Negative energy” comes in literally all shapes and sizes, from bad thoughts that we have about someone (which that person is sensitive enough to feel), to malevolent spirits that want to interfere with our lives, to some pretty serious entities, demons (yes — they’re real), and other high-level and dangerous forms of beings.
  • “Some level of harm” also comes in all shapes and sizes, from having bad thoughts enter our minds and which we can’t get rid of, to feeling pain in our body, to being drained of energy for no reason, to being encouraged to end our lives, to becoming debilitated, and worse.

Why at Night?

Attacks often come when our bodies are asleep because this is when we’re vulnerable. When we’re asleep, we’re also free to travel in spirit form to other places, and so we do. Thus, we can have some very negative, scary experiences at nighttime, and since our society doesn’t give us a proper frame of reference for these experiences, we deem them to be simply a nightmare; harmless, right? But they usually were not harmless; to the contrary, they may have caused our energy bodies and souls true harm. Most often, a part of us is now missing (this is called soul loss or harvesting), and/or a part of us is wounded. When we’re wounded, we are vulnerable to further invasion. So we want to fix this as soon as we become aware of it.

Consequences of Leaving the Problem Untreated

I now have a lot of adult clients who had these types of experiences when they were children, but whose parents or teachers brushed off the events as being harmless. Decades later, we’re finally undoing the damage that these people have been living with, and returning them to wholeness. In the meantime, though, they lived with serious fears (even hauntings), anxieties, depression, weaknesses, illness as a result of part of their energy being gone, and an inability — no matter how hard they tried — to be happy, healthy, open, successful people.


If your child says there were people, aliens, monsters, or anything of the sort in their room — especially gathered around their bed — then take this seriously. If the child was paralyzed when this happened, take it seriously. If the beings poked, prodded, touched in any way your child, take that seriously. If your child says that things happened which were far more serious and very disturbing, please, please take that seriously.

I know that we in the Western world don’t talk about these things, but the rest of the world knows all about them. These events are just part of life. And the sooner we surrender to that fact, the sooner we’ll be able to help our children; and even to heal our own inner children who were harmed in a similar way.

What to Do

If any of these attacks happened to your child, please get help from a qualified practitioner. You want to find someone who acknowledges malevolent energies and knows how to work with them (not all healers do). And remember that you want to do two things: remove the bad spirits and heal the reason why they attacked your child in the first place. You may need to go to two different healers for that, depending on what each person is able to do. If you do not heal the vulnerability, then you are leaving your child exposed to further intrusion.



Jen Wozny

BA, MSc. Holistic Energy Healer and Coach for your soul, emotions, mind, and body. Former Intel. Founder of www.PutTheLightHere.